Wednesday, July 3, 2013

(empo-jooryst) Is my dog competent to stand trial?

When you spend several days at a trial, things start to rub off on you.

It was the Saturday after the trial began, or a little over a week after jury selection began. I was engaged in important duties that had nothing to do with my jury assignment, or with my regular job. Specifically, I was in my backyard, picking up dog poop.

Frankly, I would rather have been back in voir dire.

As I was picking up after my dog, I was talking to her. Or rather, we were talking to each other. This is what she was saying:


Meanwhile, I found myself saying this to her:

Your job is to keep cats out of the backyard. But here in my hand, I have evidence that shows that you have not done this! Allow me to introduce Exhibit 1, this piece of cat poop...

I wonder if our prosecuting attorney says things like that to his dog.

I just hope that this doesn't mean that poop will become a major part of this case. Heck, I already cut my hair and then discovered a few hours later that the alleged crime took place near a barbershop. I shudder to think of what might happen next.

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